In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king

But in the land of relationships, the manless woman is sage?

For some reason, the first person a woman goes to when she’s having relationship problems, is her single friends.  I’m a woman, I’ve done it.  My committed friends do it to me.  Because of course, when your man pisses you off, you’re out the door.  Married women are going to tell you that marriage is hard work, and to stick it out, and that it’s all worth it in the end.  When you’re mad, you’re not trying to hear that foolishness.  You want fire and brimstone to run all up in your lousy man’s ass.

Now, the average woman with sense will come to her senses, and realize that she’s got something worth saving (I hope), and will eventually seek out sage advice from a more experienced, successfully married woman.  Their single friends are a good sounding board, the appetizer if you will.  They go to experienced women for the “food.”

Unfortunately, not enough women do this.  And that speaks to the MAJOR disconnect that exists between men and women.  A woman in a relationship has a completely different dynamic from her single counterpart.  You can truly just speak to your circumstances.  Single women aren’t necessarily coming from a man-hating place.  It’s the logical, “You’re not happy, get happy,” place.  (Single women can be quite pragmatic when it comes to other women’s relationships.)

As women, there’s a pressure to be committed, yet not lose touch with your single friends.  Solidarity in sisterhood is all good, but it shouldnt’ be at the expense of your well being.  Once you are committed, the well being of you, turns to the well being of us, so your single friends can’t always give sound advice, because they’re coming from a different place.

I’m sure there are single women who will take issue with what I have said, but if you think about it, I’m really not wrong here.  We do the best we can, but our best isn’t always a good fit for the situation.  When I was eight and my younger sister was six, my mother spent a great deal of time in the hospital, and my father was our primary caregiver, including combing our hair.  He was taking care of his girls, as always, as best he could, but hair combing wasn’t exactly in his lane.  I remember bragging that my dad could comb hair.  I saw pictures of us during that time, and it was the definition of hot mess.  But I knew my father’s intention, and that was enough for me.  That’s what happens when the people we love, and who love us, give us advice that isn’t always coming from knowledge and experience.

We would do well to seek out people who have a measure of success in our specific situation if we desire improvement.  I’m not saying to dismiss your single friends as uninformed dolts.  I’m just saying don’t go to the dentist for brain surgery.

Just food for thought.